tough decisions

The other day I decided to venture into the scary world of picking out a new underarm deodorant. I'd gotten tired of Brut and decided to be adventurous. What I did not foresee was the sheer magnatude of choices and the hilarity of some companies. I looked through products such as British Sterling and English Leather (these must be said with a faux brit accent, it's required) but even though they appeal to my love of all things British, unfortunately they did not smell good. In actuality they smelled kinda like my great-grandpa's house when we cleaned it out after he moved out. But maybe musk is what they're going for. You also have the company Mitchum, who's slogan really says all you need to know about them: "So effective, you could skip a day!". Yes, that's actually their company statement and it's actually printed on every single label. Then you have the barrage of strong smelling things that are promised to get you chicks. But really none of the axes or tag appealed to me, perhaps because I'm not a women. Then there's all of the Right Guard/Gillette products. My issue with these was the ruse of a powerstripe. Yes okay, you have these amazing odor fighting things that you have put into the deodorant, but honestly does putting it in a strip in the middle make it more effective? No. It merely makes it easier for the company to advertise to kids and get rappers to make commercials for them. I will not be swayed however. The promise of a powerstripe does not make me forget my scruples and firm resistance of the man. This left me going for a classic in Old Spice. However, this isn't your grandaddy's Old Spice. This is Old Spice Red Zone. Pretty much all that means is that I'm now allowed to smell like an Aqua Reef. Which really is pretty pleasent for the senses. I think I'm happy with my purchase.


The experience was made extra difficult because I had a head cold and was not able to smell anything very readily. I may have looked like some strange deviant, inhaling deeply with the deoderant sticks close to my nose. Just a tip, do not engage in picking out a new personal fragrance unless you are in a healthy state to do so. Okay, I'm now done, as I've rambled longer than any human should about this subject. Stay cool.