Complaining Unreasonably II: The Return of Snark
I've been pushed to the edge, then consequently over it, and this is the result. The making of pointless, superfluous, unnecessary sequels has got to stop. I can't even see how they are a successful money-making venture anymore. Did Jeepers Creepers 2 really make enough to break even? I'd have to see financial statements to believe so. Does anyone really need a Scary Movie 4? I'm not even going to touch 1-3.
I was angered the most by a preview I saw for Cheaper by the Dozen 2. Now, not only was the first movie a horrible remake in the first place, but this was going to be a sequel to a horrible remake. Mostly, I'm just dissapointed in Steve Martin for agreeing to do it. I can't be made to believe he needs the money. I'm sure his kids' college funds are doing just fine from the Three Amigos money. You'd be even more hard-pressed to make me believe that he thought the script was excellent and worth doing. He's been in good movies, he knows what a good movie is, he knows that this is not one. No, I just think that he's bored. And when a top-tier star like Steve Martin doesn't have any Academy Awards to host or gets tired of golfing, they make awful family comedies.
May I present subject B. Tim Allen. What the hell happened? You used to be in good movies. Like that one with Kirsty Ally where they were pretending to be Amish to get away from the cops because they did something illegal. That was a good one. Now, it's come down to The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause. I wish I was making that up, I really do. To add insult to injury, Martin Short also stars in it as Jack Frost. The premise is Jack Frost is a disgrunted figurehead who wishes he got more attention around Christmas, so he uses time travel to go back to when Allen's charcter becomes Santa and promptly hits him with a shovel and steals the position. Again I stress, I'm not making this up. It's a sad day in Tinseltown, I'll tell you that.
Unfortunately the movie going public appears to be either mindless zombies or just people with horrible taste in movies, because they keep patronizing these sad excuses for cinema. As long as there are people there, the sensible movie-watching public will get patronized with this dreck. Of course, I'm waiting with bated breath for Under Siege 3. That Steven Seagal kicks ass.
I was angered the most by a preview I saw for Cheaper by the Dozen 2. Now, not only was the first movie a horrible remake in the first place, but this was going to be a sequel to a horrible remake. Mostly, I'm just dissapointed in Steve Martin for agreeing to do it. I can't be made to believe he needs the money. I'm sure his kids' college funds are doing just fine from the Three Amigos money. You'd be even more hard-pressed to make me believe that he thought the script was excellent and worth doing. He's been in good movies, he knows what a good movie is, he knows that this is not one. No, I just think that he's bored. And when a top-tier star like Steve Martin doesn't have any Academy Awards to host or gets tired of golfing, they make awful family comedies.
May I present subject B. Tim Allen. What the hell happened? You used to be in good movies. Like that one with Kirsty Ally where they were pretending to be Amish to get away from the cops because they did something illegal. That was a good one. Now, it's come down to The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause. I wish I was making that up, I really do. To add insult to injury, Martin Short also stars in it as Jack Frost. The premise is Jack Frost is a disgrunted figurehead who wishes he got more attention around Christmas, so he uses time travel to go back to when Allen's charcter becomes Santa and promptly hits him with a shovel and steals the position. Again I stress, I'm not making this up. It's a sad day in Tinseltown, I'll tell you that.
Unfortunately the movie going public appears to be either mindless zombies or just people with horrible taste in movies, because they keep patronizing these sad excuses for cinema. As long as there are people there, the sensible movie-watching public will get patronized with this dreck. Of course, I'm waiting with bated breath for Under Siege 3. That Steven Seagal kicks ass.
posted by Steve at 7/05/2006 04:26:00 PM
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